Times are changing.

Many things have happened in the past few days. Most known, me not claiming straight edge anymore. I guess it's so prevalent since I did for 2 years. Oh well, that came and now it's gone. Whatever.

Anyways, I'm currently sick and it's lame as hell. I haven't blogged in awhile so this will be a pointless random blog about my life that no one could care about. OH WELL!

I kind of dug myself in a dumb hole the past week or two. Of course I let myself like someone that I really shouldn't. That always happens. He's kind of a fucking idiot, too. At least when it comes to these things. I love him as a friend though. 

I'd like to give a shout out to some people I feel some hella love for right now:
Sean Evans
Ben Kuhnle
Daniel Asher
Brant Brantley
Matt Isbell
Kay Overbey
Crystal Gann
Tucker Adkins
Karen Hall
Destiny Robbins

Those my niggas. Anyways, new screen name guys -> endless volatile.
Hit it up.

I let my ears close up back to 1/2". I'm thinking about closing them completely actually. I'm skipping on some school tomorrow. Sick + doctor's appt. Hell right.

Let's talk.

3:25 AM.

I can't sleep. What else is new? This has become an ongoing problem.
So, I decide to come blog. I'm just gonna throw out some updates and random thoughts right now.

• I've done some serious thinking lately. I need to get my head back on straight.
• I just downloaded every New Found Glory CD ever.
• Speaking of NFG, I saw them, A Day to Remember (for the second time), Four Year Strong (for the third time), International Superheroes of Hardcore, and well I missed Crime in Stereo. When NFG played I felt that moment of bliss, where everything was great. All of my friends around me around the things I love. Plus some great tunes right in front of me. Love it.
• Also the vocalist for ADTR is hot as fuck.
• Me and Karen got polaroid camera's today. I'm really stoked. Now I just need film.
• I wish Sean would move to TN already.
• We really need a good 'ol Knoxville reunion. Even if we can't make it to the fountains. I miss everyone.
• Me and Karen are really close again, and I couldn't be happier about it. I love her to death. However, I miss Crystal a whole lot. :[ and I can't wait to see her tomorrow!
• Fall break is coming to a close while other's are opening up. Kind of depressing. It was pretty great though. Looooong week. I still have a mountain of homework to do before Monday, too. Like 2 papers and a project. At least I've started 2/3.
• I can't wait til Halloween. May be volunteering with Brant and Crystal to participate in a haunted house. I need to find my costume, still. Harry Potter?!
• October 17 - National Edge Day!
• College day is Tuesday. I'm really gonna lose my head. I don't even wanna go there....
• I'm already gonna fail at lacrosse. Missed a practice already. I'm totally not dedicated, I just need a life outside of shows, sitting at home, and school.

That's all for now. I'm gonna go jam to a little bit more Miley Cyrus now...
Wait....nevermind. 

Gonna go lay in bed and think again. Oh boy.

In a dream you appeared,
for awhile you were here.
So I keep sleeping,
just to keep you with me.

Misanthropy.

I've been incredibly pissed at people lately. Yesterday was a fucking joke. I got ditched by DIFFERENT people for the 3rd week in a row. My friends are fucking awesome. I also have an english project due to tomorrow that I've been trying to get done since last Monday, but it all failed until today. Now we have to shove all the stuff we have to do in before the show tonight.

There are some good things going on, though. The show tonight....I can't wait. I dyed a shirt hiliter yellow. I'm gonna write "I FUCKING RULE" on the front. and "XEDENX" on the back, haha. :P 

Fall break is next week. That Wednesday is New Found Glory, A Day to Remember, Four Year Strong, Crime in Stereo, and ISHC at Rocketown. Party all week! I can't wait for Halloween, either. I need to find my costume.

Real lacrosse practice starts soon. We might be playing a jamboree at Limestone in South Carolina. 

This is the end of all life
This is the end of the world

Always at this time of night....

I think a lot, and too much at that. This is my first rambling blog, here goes....

I think I'm beginning to have feelings for someone after months of impossibly ever liking someone again. The sad thing is, I wish it was impossible right now. I don't really want to like this person, YET. Maybe later, just not now. And the one I really wish I could be interested in and slightly am, I don't want to like either because he's just bad news. 

I'm tired of my parents fighting about money. That's all it ever is, or about me. Both suck pretty bad. And seeing as how the stock market just dropped 500 points, that makes it fucking worse. I hate it. FUCK.

I'm finally over the last person I was involved with. I have been for awhile now. I feel like he still fucking talks to me whenever I listen to one band a certain few songs. It really depresses me.

I miss my friends. They've all changed, it seems like. I feel so seperated from some of them. I feel like I can't open up to a lot of them that I used to be able to. I kind of feel like I want to seperate myself even more, which is probably the last thing I should do. I think keeping to myself for a little bit may be a good thing though.

I just want to talk to this one person all the time. Fuckkkk. School is killing me, also. I can't make an A in English if I tried to. I'm scraping an A in Anatomy. Spanish just started getting hard, and no matter how hard I fucking try I really can't read a sphygmomanometer (blood pressure meter).

I'll get past it, it's just gonna take too damn long. And gas needs to go the hell down. 20 cents is not enough.

I'll keep on running this neverending race. Maybe next time will be the right time.

I'm not too sure.

I went to the UT vs UAB game with Jacob today. We killed UAB. 35 to 3. That's what I'm talking about.
However, I still don't like Crompton and his constant passes ALWAYS to Lucas Taylor. Someone's gonna figure out that that's the only dude you pass to.
Those 3 yard line interceptions were badass though.

On another note, I feel like I really got ditched by 5 of my friends tonight. A possible good night turned into a pile of shit. I got to hang out with Karen and see April for a bit, but nothing great really came out of it.

A close friend is turning into something she said she never would, and that person is the person that I dislike so much. It kills me. I say I don't care and it's their choice, but I really do care. 

Maybe it's just because Christianity and straight edge is all I really believe in, but I still don't like it. I just hope nothing bad happens.

I need to do homework.

Went to the fair.

I had fun. Best chocolate & sprinkle covered banana ever was consumed by me.
However, I almost hurled for the first time in my life from a ride. Holy shit.

Need sleep. Gotta wake up at 9:45 to go to the UT vs UAB game with Derrick and Jacob. They're bringing their girlfriends I don't know, apparently.




Awkward.