Misunderstood

are you listening? can you hear?
there are so many people walking, running.
but none of them are near.

so far away. are they ghosts?
me and you. we're so alone.
it's all too unreal, and morose.

understanding takes time. time is not enough,
when you're running on empty.
just listen. think. cast your slough.

i never learned without you. i never saw what could.
no one else even matters. 
it doesn't matter because we're misunderstood.

i don't know why but,

i feel like i want to be the farthest away from the people i'm closest to even though i still have the best time with them.

why?

if you can afford me.

If you want me, a cherry on top, the pick of the peck, the crème de la crop.
If you want me you better do better than that tonight.
If you want me, it takes more than a wink, and more than a drink, more than you think.
If you want me you're gonna have to break the bank tonight.

'Cause some don't have the patience, some call me high-maintenance, but you pay the bill, 'cause that's the deal.

If you wanna ride, just name your price, and don't play cheap with your heart.
Don't make a bet if you can't write the check for me, 'cause I can be bought but you'll pay the cost...
If you can afford me

If you want me, I'm not a piece of ass, a one night stand, a storage shed.
I think you better walk by tonight.


If you want me, then stop begging, I don't put it out for charity.
If you want me there's no discount price tonight.

But I don't need your dollar bills...
I just want something real, cause nothing's free, except'a loving me.

If you wanna ride, just name your price and don't play cheap with your heart.
Don't make a bet if you can't write the check for me, cause I can be bought but you'll pay the cost...
If you can afford me

all i have to say is,

i'm so glad i have today off.

last night....long night....
currently feel like someone ran me over by a bus. 

i really hope things aren't too awkward now....

also, new party song. ;) it's so catchy!

Let's go!
Hey!
What's happenin'?
What you drinkin' tonight girl?
Drinkin' tonight with me!
Put your drinks up!


Hey girl
Where's your drink?
We goin' all get real drunk tonight
Hey girl
I got bud we can all get fucked up tonight
By the end of the night
Imma have you drunk and throwing up
By the end of the night
Imma have you so fucked up!


They said what you drinkin'?
Let me buy you a couple of rounds
And I said what you thinkin'?
I ain't the type of girl to get down
But I can party wit cha
And bring my girls aside
Tell the bartender bring the ice
And let 'em know I'm on Patron


I'm on Patron, Tequila
I'm drunk on Margarita
That Patron, Tequila
Me and my mamacita
Hey girl
Where's your drink?
We goin' all get real drunk tonight
Hey girl
I got bud we can all get fucked up tonight
By the end of the night
Imma have you drunk and throwing up
By the end of the night
Imma have you so fucked up!


And now the parted heated
'Cuz I got a hot girl in the club
I'm feelin' so conceited
'Cuz everybody is giving me love
But hold up, wait a minute
'Cuz my cup is going empty
I need someone to refill me
I'm trynna to get drunk


I'm on Patron, Tequila
I'm drunk on Margarita
That Patron, Tequila
Me and my mamacita
Hey girl
Where's your drink?
We goin' all get real drunk tonight
Hey girl
I got bud we can all get fucked up tonight
By the end of the night
Imma have you drunk and throwing up
By the end of the night
Imma have you so fucked up!


Who wanna get fucked up? [I do, I do]
Who wanna get fucked up? [I do, I do]
Who wanna get drunk? (me) [me]
Who wanna get drunk? (I'm already drunk) [me]
Who wanna get fucked up? (haha) [I do, I do]
Who wanna get fucked up?(I ain't stopping them) [I do, I do]
Who wanna get drunk? [me]
Who wanna get drunk? (let's have another one)


I'm on Patron, Tequila
I'm drunk on Margarita
That Patron, Tequila
Me and my mamacita
Hey girl
Where's your drink?
We goin' all get real drunk tonight
Hey girl
I got bud we can all get fucked up tonight
By the end of the night [repeating Aria]
Imma have you drunk and throwing up [repeating Aria]
By the end of the night [repeating Aria]
Imma have you so fucked up! [Imma have you so fucked up! ]


Put your drinks up!
Put your drinks up!
Put your drinks up!
Put your drinks up!


I'm on Patron, Tequila
I'm drunk on Margarita
That Patron, Tequila
Me and my mamacita

(:

like i said before, i love weekends! i spent it all with mah ladiez. honestly, they really are all i need. i'm completely happy with everything right now. 

saturday night was a hoot. me, sarah, crystal, hannah, and karen. all together. out. we tried to start SO many fights, olol. BYA! swam at like 3 AM forever. rose so much hell. had to take my ACT earlier that day at bearden. sucked real bad. so glad i never have to take that shit again.

yesterday was my pool party. saw some good faces! missed a few though. :( had fun overall though. this weekend reminded me of how much i love swimming. a lot haha. me and hannah are wata babiez ;)

today is a relaxing day i suppose. i started back working today. thank god i don't have to do all office work this summer. i get to split it with working on the filter line with chiefy. i love all the dudes that work out there. they crack me up so bad. can't waaaaait. hours rule too. 10 - 4:30 monday-thursday. holla! 

holla @ me

"Eden -- A girl who's eyes put a spell on every boy's mind. Who's smile can melt a thousand hearts. Who's beauty is more blinding than the sun, yet it falls into nothingness compared to the beauty of her personality. So much kindness to give, so much love to share. Funny but all so serious. So strong, yet so fragile and sensitive. Like a flower so delicate, but only he who knows how to handle it with care can do its true beauty justice.."

;)

hustlin'

OK! I'm reloaded my bankroll swole and a nigga can't fold it
I got 'em like HEY! Got 'em rollin
The kush on the way and the champagne frozen
Watch me do my thang, I got these hoes open
I'm ridin presidential like the shit that I'm smokin
Water wih' the work, Petrom on my shirt
And a zip ain't shit I need a quarter P of Purp
'Gon break it down, pass it all around
I can serve Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown
Them dope boys in this bitch like, let me buy that
Broke niggas in this bitch like, let me try that
I need a beat in the bitch, let me call Polow
Mr. Tennakey I still get 'em for the low though
Shawty light up the dro, I ain't ready to go
Can't ban me from the radio or fuck up my show, you know


Haters tryin to ban a nigga mayn
I bounce back watch me do my thang
I got my Chevy hoggin up the lane
I'm a boss I can make it rain
Now get buck bitch


Let's play the game I'm the quarterback, don't stop homey
I go to jail if I get sacked, so block for me
Eightball in my corner pocket, it's on and poppin
Got the whole club leanin wit' it, and body rockin
Drunk drivin in my Cut dawg, I got my truck parked
Seventy Two Tennessee Titan like what up y'all?!
I'm home boy, holla at ya homeboy
Better come quick, once I get it then it's gone boy
First come first serve, fuck what ya heard
I'm piecin out my pack till I come up on a bird
Blow the smoke out my nose, pimpin on these hoes
They know me at the bank love me at the jewelry stores
I play it how it goes, the butterfly doors
On them old school vogues with the chrome on the toes
These fuck niggas know, that I will let it go
(I bet he got a vest) No but I got my tech though



Yeah you know what it is, how we do the damn thang down here
Nigga what you workin with?
Yeah, hey my nigga now don't be in the club, throwin ya rent money, be broke in the mornin
Have us laughin at ya broke ass, yeah where my dope boys at?
Yeah! Shawty I see you! Now pick up that god damn money! Hey! LET'S G

purgatory.

A slave to the master held back by the force itching to decide my fate. The control it has is no illusion, testing the limits of endless power. Father time always a step ahead, looking back on me quickly losing his sick game, taking pleasure in my suffering.

Running a race against time. Living life not my only crime. Sins of the past coming to bite me back. A circle of pain. An endless track.

The temporary state is lasting forever so where is the end to the unrest? / I'm reaching for change, pulled back by temptation only extending my stay in an existence haunted by mistakes. Death means I start over. Another stay in this nightmare I can't take.

Face to face with consequences, gotta fix the wrong. Seeing the error in my ways, placed here for a reason. I need to make due and not waste away. Find a path in the darkness out of this purgatory.

A slave to the master held back by the force itching to decide my fate. The control it has is no illusion, testing the limits of endless power. Father time always a step ahead, looking back on me quickly losing his sick game, taking pleasure in my suffering.

Looking in the mirror I see the reflection of a soul on ice, feeling the cold burn, begging for an end having learned my lessons. I need to escape. Please take me away.

Running a race against time. Living life not my only crime. Sins of the past coming to bite me back. Begging for an end having learned my lesson.

all i want to know is, what did i do to deserve what i take from people?
what's so wrong with me? what's so different? why me? 
what do i owe this world? it's done nothing for me.

dreams.

i had a weird dream last night. i woke up thinking it was real. i was about to start kicking myself right there.

it was basically the last four months summed up all over again with yet everything that's happened recently. i definitely am not going back there especially after i told myself i wasn't.
soooo weird. 

but i'm kind of glad i dreamed it. i feel back to normal now.

listening to new coliseum. rules.