also,

i'm apparently a boring person. i mean, to some people yeah i probably am. i mean, i probably was to you mostly because your talents overshadow the one's i don't have. i kind of felt incompetent, not gonna lie. 
not many people find my amusement well...amusing. some do.

alright, time to vent. 

so, i'm pretty sure something "extraordinary" might have come out of it if there would have been more effort put in from one side. i mean, at first everything was perfect. it was just how i wanted something to be but as weeks moved on, things didn't get better, or worse. then they began to get worse and something hurt me almost every day. i felt distanced. all i could do was talk to my friends about the situation but i was too scared to ever say anything because once i saw you, i just melted because of the way you looked at me, and i knew everything that used to be and i didn't want that to end even though it already did. i wanted to end it. i was tired of hurting, but i couldn't do it. i was trying to let you show me you could improve. i wonder if you were waiting on the same thing.  i wish we could have gone back to the beginning. i wasn't making you live by standards. i never told you that you couldn't do something unless it was a serious issue. that's how i think i should have acted at least or i would have been a real bitch. and yeah, i am a real bitch sometimes. that's what girls do. at least i'm not a slut. >:/
i'm over being mad about this. i'm over being sad about it. i'm over dealing with this. i just want to move on and learn from the past. i want everything to be okay between us. just as friends. i can't handle anything else right now, if you even wanted to. i don't think i could trust you completely again anyways. i don't think i ever did. i don't even know if i could be friends right now, because it would probably piss me off/hurt me to see you or just whatever. i wish you could have told me how you felt a long time ago, because i could have saved myself and my time. no time was ever wasted, jon moore. it wasn't. everything happens for a reason, and we learn, grow, and live from it. and that's exactly how i plan on doing. and i wish you the best. and nothing but the best.

i'll move on. i'm ready.