k, so.

it seems to everyone i'm closest to that i just keep constantly not doing the right thing, minus a select few of people.

and i know that i'm not NOT doing the right thing, and it's really pissing me off.

first, what's the difference between my "school friends" and my "friends i don't go to school with"? there's not one. if you're a friend of mine, you're my FRIEND, not classified into certain groups. there's not a difference, a person is a person. just cause i know them differently doesn't mean ANYTHING. 

and i've been known in the past to ditch out on plans, forget, etc. and today i get yelled at for keeping my plans? there's a difference between ditching and being busy. and i'm busy. i've had plans for the past week, and I TRIED to change them to accomodate both sides, but if a miscommunication hadn't had happened there wouldn't have even been a problem. 

i don't even want to go on about this anymore. my senior year just fucking started and so much drama is already happened, and I'M TIRED OF BEING MADE THE BAD GUY. BECAUSE I'M NOT. 

i'm the fucking bad guy cause i'm quiet, i keep my plans, i try to fix things so i can see different people, i try to help people realize what they need to get over, i try to move on.
I'M TRYING TO MOVE ON. the fact i'm not getting any support whatsoever DOESN'T help. my mom is the only one that truely understands me. we think the same. and i love my mom.
destiny probably thinks most like me out of all of my friends. i mean, we've been called the same person by more than 3 people. 

no one understands me. the way i think. the way i see things. the way i do things. 

this is why i want to become a psychiatrist. there's no one that fucking understands me out there, so i want to be that one person that understands someone that feels exactly like me.